Chai Sutta Baarish Aur “Woh”
It was mid of July 2018 when I met Dhruv at the tea stall in office’s smoking area in Noida. He’s my colleague, just like any other corporate, our company also has a tough competition among employees but Dhruv is one of the best employee in our office. Almost everyone knows him for his hard work and recently he also won the best employee award as well as he’s quite famous among girls for his good looks.
That day the weather was pleasant and it was expected to have the first rainfall of July. By the time I reached the tea stall, Dhruv had already ordered his tea, paid and was waiting to get his money back.
I ordered my tea; suddenly I felt drizzles on my hand. I was holding my tea in one hand and scraping my bag with other to pay the shopkeeper. It started raining heavily and Dhruv covered his head with the file in his hand and said let’s go. I was still looking for the money to pay but he paid on my behalf and said “I’ve made the payment, now let’s go. It’s raining heavily”
We rushed towards the shelter near smoking area and sat on a bench. On the other end, I noticed a couple having tea and sharing a cigarette.
I moved my attention from them to Dhruv and asked “So, how’s everything, how’s your new batch doing?” but I noticed Dhruv was looking at that couple and smiling.
A few seconds later he looked down at his feet with the same smile and nodded his head as if he remembered something.
I asked “What happened, I can see that smile Dhruv; not only smile I can see you blushing?”
He looked at me and said “it’s a long story”
“Don’t worry, I’ve enough time and I want to know the reason behind this smile. Tell me” I replied.
Then he told me the best moments of his life with Simran and started his story:
It was April 2016; I was sitting in the trainer’s bay on 7nd floor of my office which was only for training team. Other 8 floors were for operations team. I was busy looking at excel spreadsheet on my laptop as I needed to publish the performance report in next 30 minutes.
“Where can I find Mr. Chatterjee?” these simple words in that melodious voice dragged my attention from the web of rows and columns.
I turned back and my eyes got stuck on a beautiful face; this lady was asking for Mr. Chatterjee from Sachin who was another trainer.
She was wearing white kurti and pink leggings, her hair were loose; she wasn’t wearing any makeup apart from a nude lip balm. She was sweating a little as if she had walked fast to reach here and was looking a little worried; I could clearly sense that she was late.
As I turned back, she peeped at me from the side of her eyes and I was constantly looking at her. She totally grabbed my attention because I’ve never seen such a simple yet beautiful face.
I knew Mayank Chatterjee was supposed to onboard 5 people coming from Pune office for a project. I don’t usually poke my nose into other’s matter but this time couldn’t resist myself and asked “Are you here from Pune for the project?”
“Yes, I was supposed to report Mr. Chatterjee at 9 a.m.” she told with slacks on her forehead.
I tried to hide my attraction for her and escorted her to the room, which was booked by Mayank. I kept looking at her until she entered the room.
I quickly opened my system and looked for Mayank’s reportees to check her name and other details.
Her name was Simran Verma, her display picture wasn’t doing justice to her real beauty. I forgot about my report and kept staring at her picture; her eyes were blank in that picture, as if she was trying to hide some sadness in front of the camera.
I was waiting in the bay, from where I could see the entrance of the room. A couple of hours later, Mayank gave them break. She came out of the room with another girl; they were probably talking about the session.
She was looking prettier now. When she crossed my bay, I noticed her eyes; there was a spark in them, unlike the picture I saw. I’ve never seen such innocent eyes before. They were brown and perfectly shaped; the thin line of Kajal was making them irresistible.
When she spoke, her lips movement were telling me that her smile would be a killer. I wanted to see her smile but I wasn’t fortunate that day. She was like a live magnet for me and I couldn’t stop myself attracting towards her.
I thought she would look at me and smile, considering that I helped her earlier but my hopes were shattered when she passed by me and didn’t even notice.
Days passed, I noticed her daily entering the office, going on breaks, having lunch at cafeteria, sometimes in pantry, roaming around with her friends but I couldn’t talk to her or see her smiling.
I even took some additional tasks which involved gathering some data from Mayank, so that I can go to their room between the sessions and get a glimpse of her.
I was trying hard to get her attention, but seemed like she had some kind of shield against me, which was making me invisible for her. ‘If I had shown this dedication for my exams, I would’ve topped the college’
Given my designation and workplace, I couldn’t approach her directly; I had some limitations and a reputation to maintain for the justice of my role as a trainer.
After a month’s failed attempts, I was about to give up; one day I saw her talking to a friend and smiling.
“Oh Gosh! That smile embedded in my heart as a picture, permanently. Even today, when I miss her that smile comes alive in front of my eyes; I could visualize the moment as if it’s all happening right now”
When she smiles, her cheeks would turn pink, her teeth were perfect and white as they show in Pepsodent ads; as you move your eyes from her lips towards the cheeks, clearly visible thin lines over her upper and lower lips would meet at a point into her cheeks; and that point of Sangam is alluring more than the actual Sangam. She never used to smile just for the sake of smiling. I could feel that her smile is always real and filled with joy.
That day I understood apart from her eyes what was attracting me towards her. Every inch of her face was perfectly measured and one could clearly see the perfection in her smile. ‘I could frame her smile and keep looking for hours’.
She moved to 5th floor after Mayank completed their onboarding and project training. Now I could barely see her. Sometimes when I used to go for sutta break in smoking zone, I could see her having tea with her teammates. Whenever I get a chance and no one is noticing, I used to peep at her from a distance and see her chit chatting and laughing with her friends.
Two months passed by in that one sided game of peeping, but gradually those moments of happiness vanished with her. I didn’t see her for next 6 months as she moved back to Pune after completing the project. I also got busy with my work and new teams.
It was January of 2017 and Delhi’s winters was at peak. It was super chilled outside and we rarely saw the Sun in last two days.
My manager told me from next week I’ve to train a team on the new process. I knew there was no new joining in the office those days. I asked with curiosity, “But Amit, there are no new joiners. Which team are you talking about?”
“10 members’ team is joining us here from Pune next week” Amit answered pretending to be busy with his laptop.
Amit was my manager and one of the freest person in the company. Sometimes I used to think that company pays him only to come to office, gossip with girls, smoking, spending time in cafeteria. But if you want to talk to him about something, you would always find him with eyes buried in the laptop and pretending as if this company is running because of him.
When I heard words ‘coming from Pune’, Simran’s smiling face flashed in front of my eyes. Her smile was like that movie for me which I could watch infinite times without getting bored.
I prayed to God in my mind ‘God please, Simran should be a part of this team.’ In excitement I asked “Amit, do you have the list of names?”
“Dhruv, you’ll get the email in a couple of hours” Amit stared at me by raising his eyebrows, pretending to be busy; and said “now go , I’ve a lot to do.”
I left but I wasn’t able to concentrate on anything. I was refreshing my mailbox 10 times in a minute to check if the list has been shared.
Simran was running in my thoughts; I was having flashbacks of the days when I used to see her 10 times a day. I could visualize her lip’s movement when she speaks, her smile, her loose hair.
My day dreaming was broken by Sachin, he came and asked me if I wanted to come with him downstairs for a sutta break. I refreshed my mailbox once again, but there was no new email.
I locked the laptop and sighed, “Let’s go bro, I desperately need to relax my mind” I agreed to Sachin.
We came back after 30 minutes of break; I unlocked my laptop and saw there was an email from HR department with the subject “Trainer Alignment – Project Aura”.
I quickly clicked on the email and opened the attached excel sheet; my eyes froze and sparked on the 4th name on the list which said “Simran Verma”. In 4 years of tenure with the company, this was the first email from HR which gave me such a pleasure.
For the first time a weekend was looking like an enemy to me and I was eagerly waiting for Monday, when finally I’ll meet Simran and I won’t have to look for excuses to see or talk to her.
Finally, after a yearlong week’s wait, it was Monday.
I reached office early that day and was waiting for Simran impatiently.
She arrived at 8:55, that day she was wearing a blue jeans and turquoise blue sweatshirt. As usual, her hair were loose, and had a distinct glow on her face. That turquoise blue color was glowing her beauty even more.
After scanning her face for every detail and looking into those deep innocent eyes, I removed my focus from her so that she doesn’t notice my interest; also I knew this time I don’t have to intrude in someone else’s session to look at her, we’ll be together for the rest of the days in the sessions.
She came directly to me and asked, “Hi, could you help me where Dhruv Kumar’s is taking the session?”
I never found my name as beautiful as it sounded in her voice. I controlled my feelings and deliberately kept looking at my laptop’s screen and pointed the finger to the next room “that room.”
When she turned to go, I raised my eyes and saw her going; those words felt like some relaxing flute in my ears. I smiled and continued to work on the excel sheets.
I couldn’t wait to go to the room and start the introduction, I wanted to know more about her; but I intentionally went 10 minutes late.
I entered the room and directly looked at her. I ignored other 9 people in the room as if they didn’t even exist for me and Simran was the only one in the room.
She was also looking at me; that was the first time we had an eye contact. Our eyes locked for a couple of seconds before she removed hers.
But those seconds charged me up and made my day. I was getting some vibes from her, as if we knew each other from a long time.
I introduced myself as a presenter I was looking at everyone randomly but most of the times my eyes used to stop at Simran and that was not random at all.
I asked the team to introduce themselves one by one, I also asked them to include their place of stay in their introduction on purpose.
I listened to everyone’s introduction just for the sake of listening and was waiting for Simran’s turn. Moreover, I wanted to hear her voice.
Finally, after 20 minutes and 7 boring introductions, it was Simran who started to speak.
“My name is Simran Verma, I joined the company 1.5 years back in Pune. I’m staying in Dwarka, Delhi”
Dwarka is on the end of the Delhi, one has to cross half of Noida and Delhi to commute. It takes 2.5-3 hours to reach office. I got curious to know why she’s staying so far from the office, will she travel that long distance daily or is she planning to relocate somewhere near.
I asked “Dwarka is at the other end of the city, why are you staying so far?”
“I’m staying with my cousin and her husband there” she told me.
I got worried and thought, ‘why would such a beauty have to take this burden of travelling 40 Kms daily to reach to office and 40 Kms back to home.’
I caringly asked “How long does it take you to reach office and how do you travel?”
“It takes me 2 hours in the morning and 3 hours while going back. I take metro and public transport” she replied.
“Why don’t you relocate somewhere nearby?” I asked
“My cousin wouldn’t let me, she says, it’s just a matter of months and you have to stay with us” she answered.
I changed the topic “You were in Delhi, 6 months back for some project, right?”
She smiled “Yes, I was here for another project. Mayank trained us”
I didn’t realize everyone was looking at us. They finished their introduction and I didn’t ask them anything. I found myself in a weird situation and moved on to next person for introduction.
I was looking at her most of the time and she was dedicated to the topics I was covering during the training session. She was sitting next to another girl, Anushka. They both were discussing the topics during the breathers.
I usually go out in the bay and hang with my colleagues during breathers. But with this batch, I used to stay in the training room after quickly grabbing the cup of coffee from the pantry, as Simran and Anushka also didn’t go out.
I saw them talking to each other and laughing. I just sat there and looked at her. Every time I looked at her smile, I liked her more and felt a connection with her. First day of the training passed.
I wanted to let Simran know that my surname is also Verma. In all my documents and office, my name was mentioned as Dhruv Kumar.
Next day I had to introduce an external tool in the training which has our personal accounts; I came up with an idea of showing my complete name to Simran.
I knew my account on the tool was registered with dhruv.kumar11@gmail.com, but while showing it on projector, I intentionally put in my other email dhruvkumarverma@gmail.com to login into my account.
When login failed I acted “oh! I used wrong email to login” and login again with the correct email.
My complete focus was on Simran when I put in the wrong email. She had her concentration at the projector screen and when she noticed my surname (Verma); I noticed a connection in her eyes. From that day onwards, the vibes around her grown stronger.
Then started the game of hide and seek of eye contacts between Simran and me. We never confronted each other of those moments but we both could feel an invisible connection between us.
There were moments when she caught me looking at her with some feelings in my eyes. And there were moments when I caught her peeping at me while talking to her friends.
I could still picture that moment when I was sitting in the bay working; she was going on a break with Anushka. As she passed by the bay, I turned back to look at her and she was also looking at me with her rolling eyes and pretending that she’s listening to whatever Anushka was telling her.
Three weeks of training completed even before I could realize. Time never flew so fast.
Next day I had to transfer the team to a new manager, where they’ll work on the project for 6 months.
The moment I started the transfer, I felt that something was drifting away from my heart. When Simran’s name popped on the laptop screen for transfer, my hands froze. I raised my eyes from the laptop and looked at Simran, who was sitting right across me, and noticed she was also looking at me.
This time I didn’t ignore the eye contact and smiled at her; she also smiled back. We both talked through eyes and agreed to get our focus back to our respective work.
I again looked at my laptop screen. Her name was still there and “Transfer” button was flashing below the name. That button appeared to be a timer which was showing the last seconds before the bomb goes off.
I quickly locked my screen and went downstairs to smoke and gather some courage.
I was smoking alone in the sunlight. I saw Simran ordering a cup of tea from the cart. She also came on a break but alone this time.
She took her tea and sat on a bench near the cart. I quickly finished my cigarette, ordered a cup of tea for myself and went to her.
“Hi” I tried to start a conversation.
She looked at me and replied, “Hi Dhruv, done with your sutta?”
I smiled and sat next to her “Yes. Where’s your friend today, didn’t she come with you?”
“Actually, she had some work to do, so I came alone. I needed a break desperately with all those topics flooding my head,” she said while looking right into my eyes and asked “how many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?”
“Not much, just 4-5 in a day. Do you smoke, shall I get you one?” I answered and fired a question as well.
“Oh no! I don’t smoke. I’ve thought of trying but never got permission from my inner-self,” she replied with a big smile on her face. Her expression changed from smile to worry “4-5 are too much, you should smoke less, don’t you think?”
I could clearly see the concern against my smoking “trust me, I’m working on this Simran” I tried to save myself from her advice of smoking less.
I also tried to change the topic “Are you from Pune or stay there for the job?”
“Well, I was born in Delhi, but when I was 5, my family settled in Pune because of my father’s permanent transfer” she told while having sip of tea.
I grabbed the opportunity with open arms and tried to flirt “Ah! Now that makes sense”.
“What makes sense?” as expected she asked with curiosity.
“Why do I get vibes when I’m around you” I gave well-crafted reply, as per my flirt plan.
She gave that killer smile which agreed to me but because of obvious reasons she disagreed “oh please! Anything!”
I looked into her eyes and smiled back. She quickly broke the eye contact and looked at the empty cup in her hands “let’s go, my tea and your tea plus sutta break is also over”
We both got up, trashed the cups in dustbin and started walking. On our way back we talked about her office in Pune, I asked her; how did she like here in Noida and this office. That day those crawling elevators of office flew like an alien ship and we were on our floor even before I could realize.
I transferred Simran to her new manager with a heavy heart.
She started working on her project on 7th floor with the other manager and my shift timings also changed.
During her tenure of 6 months at Noida office I hardly saw her 5-6 times in elevators or in waiting area. Whenever we saw each other, we just exchanged Hello and smiles but we never spoke to each other.
In August beginning, I was at home when my phone rang. It was Simran. Her name flashing on my phone screen brought a smile on my face. I quickly answer the call and said, “Hello Simran, how are you?”
“I’m good; how about you?” I heard these words in Simran’s sweet voice from the other end.
Her voice over the phone sounds even more sweet than real.
“I’m good too.” I replied in excitement.
“Dhruv, I need a favor” she came directly to the point.
“Yes please tell me” I asked curiously.
“I moved back to Pune last week. Today I got a communication that Noida’s project is extending for 2 more months” she explained.
“Oh! It’ll be a hassle for you to move back, isn’t it?” I asked, hiding all my excitement about her coming back to Noida for 2 more months.
She said in a worried voice “Exactly! That’s what I have been wondering, if you could please check with the HR at Noida office and see if I can work from Pune on the project?”
“Definitely Simran. I’ll talk to them tomorrow and let you know” I said.
“Thank you Dhruv” she replied.
We hung up the call after exchanging bye.
Next day I directly went to the HR bay and he made my day, I felt like hugging them. He told me that all the members involved in The Project Aura have to work from Noida only.
I wanted to call Simran and tell her, but controlled myself. I didn’t want to give an impression that I went to HR in the morning.
Almost half of the day passed, but I didn’t get any call from her. I kept checking my phone every 10 minutes in the hope of her message or call.
Around 4 my phone rang; it was Simran. I answered the phone after two bells.
Simran asked “Hi Dhruv, did you talk to HR?”
I replied in a pretended sad voice “Yes Simran, and they said you’ll have work on the project from Noida office. Unfortunately, you’ll have to bear Delhi for 2 more months”
“Oh! I was hoping I don’t have to travel again but okay, I’ve worked so hard on this project, I won’t leave it for the sake of travel and 2 more months away from home” she replied sadly.
I agreed to her “Yes, you’re right” and before she hangs up I asked the most important question “So, when are you coming back?”
“As per the email, I’ve to join this Monday. I’ll travel on weekend” she told.
I calculated the days to Monday in my mind. Today was Thursday, 3 more days to go and said “Okay, see you soon then”.
“Yeah, sure” she replied, and we hung up the phone.
Monday, I went to office with hopes to see Simran. I reached at 9:30 and started my day with my daily tasks.
At 10:30, I saw a girl wearing blue jeans and light pink kurti looking for someone. I couldn’t see her face as she had her back towards me. But I was sure she was Simran; I recognized her with her loose hair, height and appearance. ‘Who is she looking for, that too with such a desperation?’
“Simran?” I called her name with the intention to grab her attention.
“Oh, hi! How are you?” she replied with a pinch of surprise.
“Welcome back,” I welcomed her with a smile and asked “are you working on this floor?”
“No, we’re on the 5th floor. I was free, so came to see you” she replied.
The last words she said were in low voice, it seemed she didn’t want me to hear those but I heard them out loud. They were striking my ear drums again and again.
“Well, if you had not come, I would’ve come to 5th floor to meet you after lunch” I also showed my interest in meeting her.
“Weather outside is pleasant and calling out for tea, let’s go downstairs, shall we?” I asked her out for a break.
Though it was just downstairs within the office campus but I felt as if I have asked her out for a dinner date. ‘Don’t be greedy Dhruv! Get settled for a mini date over tea’ I told to myself.
“Sure, let’s go” she agreed.
I placed order for two cups of tea and went to other cart to get a cigarette.
I again offered to Simran “It’s about to rain, would you like to try a sutta with tea?”
She refused the offer very cruelly “Nah! You enjoy your sutta, I’ll manage with my tea”
We both sat on the bench with cups in one hand and I had the lighted cigarette in the other hand.
“Didn’t you know about project extension before moving back to Pune?” I asked to break the awkward silence.
“No, I thought project is over and moved back to Pune for good. But then I got this email stating the extension of project by 2 months” she vented out “if they had to extend the project they should’ve told us on time, this could’ve have saved extra headache of travel and packing-unpacking”
By her words I could judge she was frustrated and angry, but her voice still had the same sweetness and her face still had the same innocent look.
‘If this is her angry look and voice then how would she look and sound in love’ I wondered to myself.
“I agree, but you know these corporate decisions. You never know what they decide behind the excuse of so called Business Requirement” I agreed to her and tried to address her frustration.
“Yes true” she replied focusing on her tea.
“Leave it, we can’t do anything about this now” I tried to drag her attention from this topic and asked “now since it’s your third trip to Delhi in last 1.5 years; what did you like the most about it?”
She took 30 secs to think, made eye contact and said “I like the people of Delhi, especially in this office” and quickly moving her focus from my eyes to open sky and continued “and of course Delhi’s winters”
That answer about people gave me a strong vibe and that eye contact was deeper then all previous ones. Her words ‘People of Delhi, especially in this office’ were heard by my heart instead of ears.
Her words were pointing towards general people of Delhi and office, but her eyes were talking with mine and they told me ‘she talking about you Mr. Dhruv’.
Before I could continue this conversation and ask something further she pointed towards my empty cups and said “Done with the tea, let’s go upstairs now, I’ve a lot of work to do”
She knew I would continue this topic and played smart. I liked this smart move of her, smiled in mind and pretended to fall for it.
“Yeah sure, let’s go” I took the cup from her hand and trashed both of them together.
She hesitated to give me her empty cup but couldn’t resist.
We couldn’t talk in elevator because of other people standing close to each other.
She de-boarded the elevator at 5th Floor and passed a smile while going. I went to my 7th floor.
I was surrounded by positive vibes and was excited. After a couple of hours, I pinged her on our internal communication tool “Hi, how’s the project progressing?”
“Going good, you tell, got any new batch to train?” my messenger turned orange from white with the notification of her immediate reply.
“No, I’m working on new training content” I replied.
That day we talked over the messenger for the rest of the day about our projects, our teams, office etc. We also exchanged a few emojis which made the conversation easier for both of us.
I didn’t even realize when did the clock hit 7PM, usually I logout and leave for the home at 6:30PM.
Simran and I promised to meet tomorrow and then we logged out. I saw her catching the cab at the office gate; I wanted to meet her and say bye in person but the gate was too far from where I was standing.
But I didn’t let this chance go just like that, I pulled out my phone and sent a WhatsApp message to her “Travel safe. Bye” followed by a smiling emoji.
By then she already had boarded the cab, I noticed my message had double blue ticks within seconds and on the top of the chat window I saw – Simran Typing….
“Thanks, just boarded the cab” her reply also had that smiling emoji.
“Yes, I saw you, but I was far behind so couldn’t come” I typed back.
By now I reached at the gate, I was hoping she would turn back and look for me from inside the cab; but I noticed she didn’t, I just saw her cab going away.
“Oh, okay, you too reach home safely” she replied.
“Thanks” I said.
She went offline, which made me kind of sad. I was expecting to talk more on WhatsApp. After that tea break and all day long conversation; this behavior of her seemed a little off to me.
I reached home in 20 minutes as my home wasn’t much too far away from the office. After getting fresh, I picked up my phone and see Simran was already online. I sent a message “Reached home, where have you reached?”
“I’ve reached Botenical Garden” she replied after 30 secs.
“You really have to travel a lot, don’t you get tired?” I tried to continue the conversation.
Though she was online but double blue tick appeared after 1 minute.
“Yes, it’s very tiring” she replied.
She seemed busy, hence I replied “yes, I can understand. Let’s talk once you reach home”.
“Yeah, sure” she replied.
I got busy in preparing my dinner and with some reports which I need to send urgently.
It was 10:30 PM, I checked my phone but there was no message from Simran, I thought of asking if she reached home safely. But I controlled myself as I didn’t want to sound like a typical nosy guy, who kept pushing themselves every time.
After an hour my phone chimed with Simran’s message “Hi”
“Hey, whatsup?” I replied.
“Nothing, just had dinner” she replied and other message followed “Do you know any training manager by the name of Aakash Goel?”
“Yes, I used to report him 2 years back, but then he got promoted and moved to our Bangalore’s office” I replied and asked “What happened, why did you ask?”
“One of my friend runs Professional Development Center in Bangalore; Aakash has joined there. He was telling me, so I just thought let’s see who’s this guy” she explained.
“Oh! that’s nice” I replied and said “I noticed something today while having tea”
“What? I don’t remember doing anything weird” she replied with a confusing emoji.
“We finished our tea almost 5 minutes before you asked to go back. You did that deliberately, right?” I asked.
“Why would I do that? There was nothing to avoid” she replied followed by another message “Why did you think like that?”
“Oh! Please, I know you did that on purpose” I held my fort with this message
“Really, if you know, tell me what I was trying to avoid?” she again played smart and put me on the spot.
But I was ready this time “You told that you liked the people of Delhi. You knew I’ll continue that conversation and filter it from generic people to particular person” I very smartly answered and continued “and that’s what you avoided and drifted the conversation to empty cups”
“It’s not like that. I asked to go back as we were on the break for long. I had no idea you would want to continue that conversation” she replied and second message follow “but Mr. Dhruv, now you tell me; why did you want to filter from generic people to a specific person and who?”
I just tried to end the conversation and replied “Nothing, leave it….”
Ignoring the three clear words in message ‘nothing’, ‘leave’ and ‘it’, she read the four dots and replied “I can sense you’re hiding something with those four dots, you’ll have to tell now. Don’t run away”
I thought those four dots would work as a shield and save me, but they worked against me.
After Einstein level of brain storming and failing to find an answer, I replied “those are simple dots, there’s nothing hidden” and my next quick message was an attempt to pull her away from this topic “You might have to start your day pretty early because of travel, it’s already 12:30, don’t you have to sleep?”
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll manage. Tell me what was hidden in those four dots. I’m not leaving you until you tell me” she once again shattered my attempts and stuck to the dots.
‘She won’t let me go until I tell her what’s in my heart’ I finally decided to surrender “Actually, I think I like you. I wanted to continue that tea conversation to know, what do you think of me”
“I already know this” she replied with ease.
I was thinking she’ll be surprised and would take time to reply. This simple message pulled me more towards her. Unlike typical girls, she seemed sorted and calm.
Her second message popped up “I could feel different vibes whenever you’re around. I mean those are positive vibes with pure intentions. I’ve seen you looking at me. The way you look, I can sense your attraction towards me. I never felt any wrong intentions or weirdness around you; in fact I kind of feel safe”
While I was reading her message, a third message popped up “We also had some accidental eye contacts when you used to look at me and I felt some sort of connection in those. So Mr. Dhruv, I know you like me; but what I didn’t understand is what and why do you like me?”
I read those messages twice and wondered ‘does these girls really exist. She’s so sorted and matured. She knew everything from the beginning but never reacted. She was always comfortable around me even after knowing my feelings for her. Only a mature girl can do this’
I replied “I don’t know what to say Simran. You knew all this from the beginning, you felt the same vibes like me, but never reacted” I sent the second message in reply of her last question “There’s no reason for liking anyone, its heart which decides, not us. And about what I like about you; well I have a long list.”
I continued typing the third message “The way you smile, I’ve never seen anyone with such a beautiful smile, the way your lips look when you smile and the way they meet your cheek. Your perfect teeth glorifies your smile to a different level”
“Your eyes, the innocence in them attracts me, your eyes are not just for seeing the world but they’ve their own language which my eyes can read. When you put a thin line of Kajal in your eyes, it makes them killer”
“Your loose hair, your dressing sense, your lips’ movement when you speak, your peep from the side of the eyes. I like all of these” I sent the series of messages.
After reading them for minutes she replied “I know we can’t control our heart. I knew from the beginning but I never reacted because you never approached me directly and I never got any wrong intentions from your side”
“Can I ask you something” I asked for her permission. “Yes, of course” she replied.
“I trained you only for three weeks. You’ve worked with your manager for 6 months, you also knew Chatterjee but even after knowing my feelings for you, why did you ask me to talk to HR?” I wanted to know.
“Something was telling me that you’ll put efforts. I couldn’t trust anyone else with that sensitive matter. Also, there was some sort of connection which forced me to believe that you’re the right person I should reach out to” she replied.
“Well, you were right, I kept that on priority and the first thing I did that day was to talk to HR for you. But I didn’t call you proactively because I didn’t know how you would’ve taken my activeness” I finally told her that her work was my priority.
“Yes I can understand” she replied and another message followed “It’s late, I should go to bed else I won’t be able to get up on time. See you tomorrow”.
“Yeah sure, Good Night” I sent her last message.
“Good Night” her message popped with a smiling emoji.
We met in the office next day, went on tea break twice. Our conversations were more personal now because I didn’t have to hide my feelings anymore and she was handling them in a positive way and maturely.
We used to talk over WhatsApp a lot during and after office hours.
She told me that she was in a relationship with a boy from her school days. After 10 years of relationship he cheated on her. He was secretly in a relation with other girl for more than a year which Simran found out 11 months back.
I could understand what a 10 years of relationship means. In such a long relation, you don’t only have feelings for each other but you put in everything. You give all the love, care, dreams, and soul to one person.
If any relationship begins in your early days then it grows even stronger, because you grow with each other from childhood to your young age. You become habitual of each other to the roots and when something is rooted into you, it’s next to impossible to get rid of that.
I knew she was going through a tough time. 11 months are not enough to come over a 10 years of relationship.
She shared everything with me, from the days he used to love only her to the days he began to distant from her.
We used to spend hours over the call. Even after 11 months she was all over him. She had many questions which were unanswered, and they were making it tougher for her to come out of the situation.
One thing I realized was that the guy was not right for her. I answered her question in the best possible way I could. The best part was she didn’t only listen to me but she also understood and agreed to what I told her.
These late night and long conversations made her realized a lot of things and I saw her growing strong.
These conversations not only helped her to realize things but also brought us closer. We also used to talk about ourselves, our likings, hobbies, past lives, dreams, families, friends. Just in three weeks of time, we knew almost everything about each other.
She told me that she would like to try cigarette someday but she couldn’t do it in public place. Also, she doesn’t want to try cigarette just like that; she wants to try it with chai (tea) and on a rainy day.
I must say ‘she knows how to enjoy sutta at its best, even though she had never tried one’. I promised her to fulfill this desire of her.
By now I had opened myself to her completely and told her about my feelings. I proposed her too, she didn’t reject me but she also didn’t say yes.
‘I know this sounds like a typical girl, who keeps the guy stuck in between’ but she didn’t do that either.
She was pretty clear about her concept of love. She said “We can truly love only once and one person. We can get attracted to someone else and we can misunderstand that deep attraction for love but that’s not true. Love happens only once in lifetime. Even if that person betrays you; you don’t stop loving them. You may leave the person, distant yourself, hate them for what the’ve done but your love for that person never dies. There’s a difference between what you want and what you love. There may be a point you may want to leave the person, you never want to live with him again but if you truly loved the person; it’ll never die in your heart. You may move on and start living with someone else but if you’ve truly loved someone before; you’ll never be able to give that same love to the other person. You may care for other person, try to give him all the happiness but deep inside you would always know whom you love.”
I disagreed with her theory about love but I noticed her love for that person. I knew she was hurt till the bottom of her heart but she still used to miss him. After I made her realize about what she’s going through; she was pretty clear that she won’t stay with that person again but she still loved him. Looking at all this, somewhere I started to believe in her perception about love.
One month passed. In this one month there was not a single day when we didn’t talk. By now we trusted each other completely.
In the last week of August we planned to meet outside the office for the first time. On 2nd September, it was Saturday but she told her cousin that she has to go to office to work Over Time on project.
I drove to Dwarka to pick her up in the early morning. By 7 a.m. we came back to my place. I used to stay alone in my flat.
I already bought 10 cigarettes as I wanted to fulfill her desire of trying sutta with tea. Luckily the weather was also pleasant and there were high chances of rainfall.
I went to kitchen to prepare tea but she came and offered to prepare. I also wanted to taste her prepared tea, so after a half-hearted denial I agreed.
She thought for 2 minutes and insisted that I should prepare this time, she’ll brew evening tea. I understood to she wanted to see how I prepare the tea and what type of tea I like. She didn’t want to force her taste on me.
I kept the tea for brewing, she was standing right next to me closely noticing everything. How much water, tea and sugar I put in the pan and how much milk I poured.
I hugged her tight with full of love and kept like that for 2 minutes. ‘I wanted to hug her badly for so long and convey my love with that hug’. That hug was like a dream coming true for me, I knew she likes me but doesn’t love, still that deep hug gave me feeling of once in a lifetime.
She didn’t oppose and kept standing quietly. I kissed on her forehead and said “You know how much I love you”.
She was not able to make an eye contact with me. She was looking at the wall behind me and silently said “I know”.
I could see at her face that she too needed that hug badly.
After 2 minutes of struggle, she was finally able to make an eye contact. Now we were quiet and our eyes were doing the talk for us.
Her eyes were saying that she knows how much I love her, she was also into me but she wouldn’t accept that because she knew that for her this wasn’t love.
Tea started to boil, I tuned the burner’s knob to lower the flame. When the tea was ready, she removed her eyes from mine to the pan and said “Let me filter the tea, it’s ready.”
I didn’t say anything and picked the cups from the drawer.
She filtered the tea. We sat on sofa, I pulled out two cigarettes from the pack.
Simran was looking at me and said “Are you sure I should try?”
“Of course, I’m not asking you to become a chain smoker, but we should try everything once in life” I replied with a wink.
I handed over one cigarette and lighter to her. I didn’t light cigarette for her as I wanted to see her how she would light it.
She grabbed the cigarette and said “I don’t know how to light it, you do it for me, please”
“No, I want to see you trying” I denied with a naughty look on my face.
She put the cigarette between her lips, held it with one hand and lighted the lighter from other. As she brought the cigarette near the flame it went out.
I laughed out loud. She gave me angry look and said “I told you, I wouldn’t be able to do it, stop laughing”
But I couldn’t control, after a hard try I controlled my laugh and said “let me show you, then you try”
I lighted my cigarette and taught her “You’ve already held the cigarette between your lips, you don’t have to hold it with your hand now. Light the lighter with one hand and use your other hand to wrap the flame so that it doesn’t extinguishes. Now either bring the cigarette near the flame or take the flame to it”
She was looking the process very closely. I handed over the lighter to her and asked to try again.
She was a fast learner and lit the cigarette in one attempt as I taught.
“Wow! Simran you really are a quick leaner” I praised her.
She winked at me and proudly said “Yes I am”.
“But I wanted to try my first sutta in rain” she said sadly while having a sip of tea and a very small puff of cigarette.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got more and looking at the weather, I’m pretty sure it could rain anytime soon” I said convincingly.
We had chai and sutta and talked about a lot of things, I told her how happy I was to have her at my place and making this happen.
When we finished our tea and cigarette, she felt a little dizzy and said “I’m feeling a little off, seems like this cigarette has hit me” and she laughed.
I held her hands in mine and said “don’t worry, I’m here, it’s just a little effect because you’ve tried it for the first time”
She tried to get up to keep the cups in the kitchen; but she sat again before I could stop her.
“When I tried to get up, the drawing room started to spin Dhruv, what is happening to me?” she asked with panicked expressions.
I laughed and said “it’s okay, everything is fine, come sit here” I grabbed her by shoulder and made her sit.
When I noticed she’s feeling dizzier; I held her and put her head in my lap.
That was one of best moment I had with her. She had her head in my lap and her eyes were right at my face. She was looking at me with innocence and trust.
I held one of her hand in mine and used other hand to brush her hair starting from forehead to middle of her head.
We kept like this for half an hour. She seemed happy and praising me for being with her, understanding her, and she was also feeling proud for trusting me.
After half an hour we got up and went to the room as we started to sweat because of moisture. I had only one AC which was installed in my bedroom.
I tuned on the AC and TV and we lied on the bed on each corner.
I asked her “what would you like to watch”
“Let’s watch an old love story movie, I love them” she told me her choice.
I launched Prime Video and played Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.
My complete attention was at Simran. I could see how relaxed and comfortable she was with me.
Every time she looked at me, I was caught looking at her; she asked me to focus on movie not on her. I knew she was also not watching movie, her indirect focus was on me.
After a while, she fell asleep. Her face was expressed that she was sleeping as relaxed as a baby.
I wanted to go near, hug and feel her; tell how much I love her but had to control myself. I paused the movie and kept looking at her with my head resting on my hand.
After almost 40 minutes, she woke up. Her eyes opened directly at my face, I smiled and whispered “Good Morning, sleeping beauty”
She smiled back for a second and then with surprised expression “When did I sleep and what are you looking at me?”
“You were so relaxed that you fell asleep and I was just looking at you while you were sleeping” I smiled back and replied “The more I’m getting to know you, the deeper I’m falling for you”
“Shut up, resume the movie and get your focus there” she replied in a pretended firm voice.
I sat in excitement and told her “you know, I’ve prepared kadhai paneer for you. Let’s have lunch first”
She raise her head and looked at me “are you mad, why you did that? Didn’t you sleep at night?”
“I couldn’t sleep in the excitement of meeting you. I got up at 4 and prepared” I replied with innocent expressions.
“You’re mad Dhruv” she scolded me with love and said “let’s order chapati then, I don’t want to waste our time in kitchen”
She sat and looked for her phone.
I hesitatingly and quietly said “I already have prepared dough, it’s kept in fridge. I wanted you to have food prepared by me”
“Oho Dhruv, you really are mad, why you did all that, just for me?” she looked at me with love and anger mixed.
I kept quiet. She continued “Let me prepare the rotis (chapatti) for both of us”
I couldn’t say no and nodded in agreement. She stood up and went to kitchen. I followed her and told where the dough and kadhai paneer were kept.
She prepared rotis, while I was standing next to her and looking at her with all the love I had.
We both served the lunch at the bed in the room and sat to eat. I gave her the first bite with my hand and she did the same.
I wanted to capture and frame this moment for rest of my life. I was blessing HR for extending the project and asking her to come back.
She stopped eating after one roti because the dough was not enough and we only had 5 chapatis.
I knew she wasn’t full but she was not eating more so that I can have a proper lunch.
I asked her to have more but she denied stating that she’d full now. I started giving her bites with my hand. I gave one bite to her and eat next myself.
She was looking at me with love while I was doing this and said “You’re doing something different with these bites; when I was eating on my own they tasted different but now with your hands they’ve better taste.”
I smiled and said “I’m not doing anything special, it’s the same kadhai paneer”
She noticed very closely when I gave her the next bite and said “you’re right, you’re not doing anything different, but why they are tasting better”
I seized the opportunity and said “It’s love dear” and I winked.
“Shut up and give me my next bite” she stick to the tasty bites.
After having lunch, we lied down in the same manner as before and resumed the movie.
Around 4:30, we hear loud cloud thunder, she quickly sat and said “I think it started to rain”
I looked and joined her excitement “yup, quickly go and prepare the tea. It’s your turn and then we’ll have chai and sutta in baarish”
Without wasting a moment, she jumped off the bed and rushed to kitchen. I followed her.
She quickly prepared the tea with the exact same proportion of ingredients as I like. By now it was raining heavily. I grabbed the pack of cigarette and she brought both the cups of tea. We went to balcony.
It was a mind blowing view of heavy rainfall from the balcony, I’ve never seen rainfall giving me such a joy before.
I pulled a sutta off the pack and lit. Simran looked at me and said “Where’s mine?”
“This time we’ll share one and then light next” I said passing over the lighted cigarette to her.
She smiled and took a small puff followed by a sip of tea.
“Finally! I’m getting a chance to have sutta with chai in heavy rainfall. I always wanted to do this. Thank you Dhruv for making this possible” she had real happiness while saying this.
‘Who would’ve imagined, a simple sutta, chai and baarish would gave this much joy to someone’ I thought.
“Pleasure is mine to experience these moments with you” I smiled and replied.
I looked at her, she was really living and enjoying the moment. That smile on her face was of happiness.
That was the best sutta of my life. I smoke in my balcony daily but never had such beautiful feelings.
The small droplets on my face were refreshing me and that shared sutta was giving me a different joy. Simran used to take 3 small puffs and pass the sutta to me. I took 2 puffs and pass it back to Simran. Each puff was followed by a sip of tea. I never found chai and sutta combination could be as special as they were with Simran.
When one cigarette finished, Simran pointed towards my pocket and asked to light another. We shared another sutta in the same manner.
I said “Now since you know how special and joyful it is to have chai and sutta in baarish. You would have it whenever you get the change, right?”
Simran looked at me and with a serious expression said “No Mr. Dhruv, this is exclusively reserved for you. I’ll never have these moments with anyone else” and then she disclosed one of the secret “I never wanted to try sutta but when I saw you smoking, I felt like I should try one with you. I heard from someone that, chai sutta in rainfall is an awesome combination and I wanted to try this with you. That’s why I disclosed this desire to you and I knew it you’ll make it happen before I leave for Pune”
I stood speechless and just kept looking at her. After a few seconds, I said “Thank you Simran for these unforgettable moments. They’ll always be with me”
She came closer and whispered “Thank you for making this happen and for everything else”
It was already 5:15 and rain also became lighter. Seems like Lord Indra sent rain just to give us those moments.
We came back inside the room. We both were looking at each other with love and smile.
Simran said “I should go now, it’s time”
I checked the watch it was 5:35, time was flying. With heavy heart I also agreed to her and said “yes its time, we should go”
We noticed the sadness in each other’s eyes because the day had ended.
I dropped her at her home in Dwarka. On the way back, I was thinking to hold her hand but I didn’t. I wasn’t sure how she would react to this.
When I was driving back after dropping her, it felt like I drove from Kashmir to Kanyakumari but the road was not ending and I wasn’t able reach Noida.
That day brought us closer and we started to go on tea breaks more often in office but she never smoked again.
In the last week of September, we went on a ride from Dwarka to Noida. Fortunately, it rained that day too.
As the rain started, I parked my bike near a road side tea stall. We rushed to shelter there and re-lived those with chai and sutta moments in baarish. We again shared two cigarettes one by one.
Though we were at the tea stall but in my thoughts I was still in my balcony with Simran. She was really enjoying the rain and this time her focus was more on rain than sutta.
On 30th September her project at Noida completed and she had to go back to Pune on 1st October.
In our last tea break at office, we both were sad. Though she was pretending that it’s not bothering her and she’s okay to go back tomorrow but her eyes were saying something else.
Someone has very rightly said “People can pretend but eyes reveals the truth”.
She was behaving like she had all the responsibilities of the world to handle every situation by herself. I was also a bit quiet that day.
But there was one thing we did; we promised to be there for each other forever, to support one other in every situation without any conditions. That day was one of the toughest I had at office.
Next day, I went to see her off at the airport. Our eyes were moist with mild tears. I didn’t want her to leave but that was something out of our control.
With heavy heart and moist eyes we both hugged each other. She said “I’m taking a lot of good memories with me Dhruv and don’t worry we’ll always be in touch”
I smiled at her and said “Yes I know, I’ll always be with you and I know we’ll never be apart”
She went to check-in, before entering into airport gate, she turned and looked at me, smiled and waived her hand to say bye. I also waived back with a smile.
Even today whenever I see someone having chai and sutta in baarish, it reminds me of Simran and me in my balcony.
It’s almost been a year and not a single day has passed when we haven’t talked.
We support each other in every front of our lives, let it be professional or personal front, we always discuss everything and help to take the best decisions.
She knows everything going in my life and I know about hers. There are days when one of us feels low but we’re never alone to fight that. We fight and rise out of every situation with each other’s support.
We have been fulfilling the promise really well. She doesn’t expect anything from me and vice-versa. That’s what make our bond stronger.
The best part between us is our connection; we understand what other person is feeling, even if we find it difficult to share. We talk whatever and however we like or feel but none of us judge each other for anything.
Deep inside I love her but I know that she won’t love me back. So far I haven’t been able to change her theory that true love happens only once in a life.
None of us have got married yet. I’m still trying to try my luck.
“Wow Dhruv!! What a beautiful story, I’ve never heard anything like this before” I listened to his story and said.
Now I can understand why this simple rainfall brought so much happiness on Dhruv’s face and why Chai, Sutta in Baarish is special for him.
Why he was looking at that couple with love, he was missing his days with Simran.
I listened to his story without blinking; I didn’t even realize that it’s been an hour.
“If I get a chance, I would love to meet this special girl of your Dhruv” I replied with excitement.
Dhruv smiled and said “Sure, why not! Let’s go now, it’s been long. Everyone will come downstairs looking for us” and we got back to our floors.
Even today whenever I talk to Dhruv, I ask him about Simran and his status. They’re still the same, supporting each other.
He says, we’re not a couple but we’re always standing for one other unconditionally, which makes us more than friends. Every time we try to discuss and name this relation, we fail.
Finally we’ve settled for “Some relationships should be left alone without any name tag”
